Aug 05

Fun with anagrams and the Royals roster

Brett Hayes in the dugout

Brett Hayes is an anagram for "Hey, Batters!"

Years ago, someone at Royals Review put together a hilarious list* of anagrams of the Royals’ 40-man roster, yielding such classics as “Lo, Danger Ox!” and “Crime Horse.”. (Alex Gordon and Eric Hosmer, respectively.) The roster is so different now, so it’s time for some updated anagrams from

*which I can’t seem to find tonight. Help?

Noel Arguelles = Allele Surgeon. He’s really into genetic tinkering.

Bruce Chen = Bee Crunch. I can’t even make a joke. BEE. CRUNCH.

Maikel Cleto = Lace Mole Kit. I saw one of those at Hobby Lobby last week.

Louis Coleman = Email Uncool. Seriously, we only Kik and Snapchat now. Jeez.

Aaron Crow = Racoon War. Sounds scary.

Wade Davis = Awed Divas. Not sure how his wife feels about those.

Chris Dwyer = Screw Dry Hi. Yeah, screw it. Whatever it is.

Jeremy Guthrie = Jeer Hermit Guy. Ha ha, lookit hermit guy up there in his cabin!

Kelvin Herrera = Ankle Her River. That sounds dirty.

Luke Hochevar = Ache Over Hulk. That one song makes us all feel that way.

Greg Holland = All Herd Gong. It was loud and also a homophone.

Donnie Joseph = Joined Hen Ops. It’s a combat video game played in chicken coops. Wanna join too?

Justin Marks = Risks Nut Jams. …by not wearing a cup?

Luis Mendoza = No Mud Lazies

Felipe Paulino = Painful Pee Oil

Ervin Santana = Sent A Nirvana, and on the opposite end of the evilness spectrum, Satan Rave Inn

James Shields = She Slides Jam

Everett Teaford = Feet Rot, Averted. Must have used Tough Actin’ Tinactin.

Brett Hayes = Hey, Batters!

George Kottaras = Reggae Ark Toots

Adam Moore = Mama Rodeo

Salvador Perez = Dare Zaps Lover

Alcides Escobar = Accessible Road

Irving Falu = Rival Fungi. These two mushrooms HATE each other.

Johnny Giavotella = Vaginal Honey Jolt

Eric Hosmer = there’s no way to top Crime Horse. Letting a classic stand here.

Elliot Johnson = Hones Loin Jolt

Mike Moustakas = Oak Ska Tummies

Edinson Rincon = Condor Ninnies

Miguel Tejada = Idea: Metal Jug. It’s gonna make a million dollars!

Lorenzo Cain = Zanier Colon. Someone get this man some Pepto!

Alex Gordon = again, not gonna top the classic “Lo, Danger Ox!” Fans of Settlers of Catan might like “Ex Long Road,” but if you play against me, my road will be longer, because I like to win Longest Road.

David Lough = Valid Dough. What he’s making now that he’s been in the Majors a while.

Justin Maxwell = Nix Jaw Mullets.

Billy Butler = Liberty Bull


NO (good) ANAGRAMS FOUND FOR: Danny Duffy, John Lamb, Will Smith, Chris Getz, Jarrod Dyson, Tim Collins


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Jul 27

A couple thousand words on a surprise military homecoming

This is Stephanie.

This is Stephanie. She was playing a regular between-inning promotion...


No, just kidding, she was actually being surprised by her husband Brent Dorrough, who has been serving overseas for the past 7 months. Aaaah!

I heard that Stephanie is obsessed with 'surprise homecoming' videos, and would send them to Brent all the time.

Welcome home and thank you for your service, Brent!

All the weepies. What a great moment at Werner Park


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Jul 26

I wish I was just a little bit better at my job…

Telli jumping for a home run ball to try to preserve Omaha's 1-0 lead in the 5th.


….because if I had gotten all of Anthony Seratelli in the frame, this would have been a pretty decent picture. Sigh.


Jul 24

Your Anthony Seratelli Photo of the Day

If you follow me on Twitter, you might see me tweet a “Seratelli photo of the day” often. The team has been away, so it’s been a while, but today’s was an obvious choice – Seratelli drove in the winning run for Omaha in the 11th inning this afternoon. Here’s Johnny Giavotella greeting him on the field.

(Photography note that will be boring for most of you: The shot was super overexposed because I had my camera set for shooting in the shadows that surround home plate in the early evening. So when I turned out toward first base where these two were, it was like OMG LIGHT IS SO BRIGHT.)

Jul 12

Manny Being…

I can’t explain exactly why, but the idiot-simplicity of this sign made me chuckle.

So, so dumb. But I'm amused.


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Jul 02

Plays at the plate all over the place

Last night I saw something I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen before – three plays at the plate in one inning. Omaha scored on one of the, which is fortunate because it was all they would get for many innings.

Getz getting theatrically tagged out at home. This was the first of THREE plays at the plate in the inning.

PLAY NUMBER ONE: Chris Getz, out, and tagged where a guy shouldn't be tagged.


Anthony Seratelli sliding past a tag for what would be the team's only run for a long, long time.

PLAY NUMBER TWO: Anthony Seratelli was safe!


Max Ramirez was out in BY FAR the least exciting play at the plate

PLAY NUMBER THREE: Max Ramirez probably should not have been sent here. It was...not close.

BONUS PLAY: Check out this incredible shot that New Orleans broadcaster Tim Grubbs passed along. Photographer ‘Baseball Jan’ caught Gorkys Hernandez beating up on the home plate umpire in a collision at the plate last week in New Orleans. Go visit Jan’s Facebook page and tell her how much you love the shot!

Gorkys Hernandez took out the home plate umpire on this play in New Orleans. PHOTO: Baseball Jan

Jun 22

Picture of the night [UPDATE: Now with another picture!]

In the 3rd inning, Johnny Giavotella was on third as Brett Hayes struck out on a dropped strike three, and when the catcher threw to first to get Hayes out, Gio went home. This is that.

Justin Sellers, by contrast, is not a happy man. This is his reaction after being thrown out at 3rd for the 2nd out of the 9th inning.

See more pictures from the 7-6 Omaha win HERE.

Jun 19

Danny Duffy, Yordano Ventura, a hilarious photobomb: Scenes from Werner Park

A few shots from last night’s Storm Chasers game. Click any picture to go to the original on Flickr, and don’t forget to check out the tags under each picture there for your browsing convenience.

This kid got a little overwhelmed by his surroundings

This moment alone made it worth going to the ballpark with a migraine. Danny Duffy took some time to try to make things better for an overwhelmed little kid.

Duffy later Instagrammed the picture, and said “My man was a little shook! But we talked a little UNC hoops and it was all gravy. Saw soooo much of me as a little guy in this kid. Love this game.”

As for the kid, I don’t mean to pick on him by highlighting this picture, at all. I know too well the feeling of arriving somewhere and then immediately going NOPE NOPE NOPE and heading right back home (or at least wanting to). What I do want is for his parents see Duffy saying he was this kid, and he grew up and made it to the Bigs.

Duffy pitches tomorrow night, by the way, followed by Yordano Ventura on Friday. I’d suggest dropping everything and going to Werner Park for both games. Velocity will be the story on both nights, as Duffy gets deep into his rehab assignment and whoever catches for Ventura tries to avoid having his 100+ mph fastball burn a hole through his glove.

I don't know if Seratelli INTENDED to creep into the corner of this one, but there he is all the same.

Anthony Seratelli bringing his A-game for this photobomb. Well played, sir.

Seratelli sliding into 2nd, and then...

Here's Seratelli stealing 2nd in the 2nd. The ball would end up in the outfield.

...and then practically getting pinned to the base, so he couldn't move when the ball skipped past Gonzalez into the outifeld

HOWEVER, Seratelli was unable to get up and go to 3rd, because Elevys Gonzalez pinned him to the bag with his legs. The third base umpire saw no issue with this. Seratelli got thrown out trying to advance to third.

While we’re thinking about Seratelli, I’d just like to point out that he”s having a really good season at the plate. Thanks in part to the one of the highest walk rates of his career, his OPB stands at .401 right now. He also has 6 home runs and 10 stolen bases, and in addition to regular duty in right field, he has played every infield position. He is pretty much the best Swiss Army knife a team could ask for, and I wish the big club could find a way to stop ignoring him.

Yordano Ventura

I haven't seen Ventura pitch yet, so I just have a series of nice pictures like this.

Dwyer, pitchin.

Chris Dwyer is the James Shields of Omaha's staff. Pitches well, gets little support.

The Chasers are having a bit of a down year, at 30-39. It is a far cry from the team that wrapped up a division title in mid-August of last year, that is for sure.

I don’t want to pile on, because I like this team and I want them to do well, but here’s a bit of a breakdown of what’s led to this 30-39 record:

  • The Omaha lineup, despite having one of the oldest (read: Most experienced?) lineups in the PCL, is scoring the 4th-fewest runs in the league (4.52 per game, 312 runs total)
  • Omaha has the 4th-lowest team batting average and the 3rd-lowest OBP, as well as the 3rd-lowest slugging percentage.
  • They’ve hit the 4th-fewest home runs, too, and are dead last BY FAR in doubles hit.

The pitching staff is actually in the top 4 or so in most categories. They’re in the middle of the pack in walks allowed, and toward the bottom in total strikeouts (but somehow tops in the league in K/9?).

I guess, overall, the biggest problems seem to be with offense, and timing. The pitching staff is, at worst, average. And, apparently, I like commas.

Anyway: Go to the games on Thursday and Friday. Watch Duffy and Ventura, and keep an eye on the radar gun both nights. Maybe Jarrod Dyson will have another 4-steal performance.


Jun 04

Your first-ish look at Yordano Ventura in Omaha

I won’t be here for his AAA debut on Thursday, but I did see Yordano Ventura in the Storm Chasers dugout this evening.

Shortly after this, the rest of the Chasers players started trickling into the Omaha dugout, and wishing Ventura a happy birthday. It was very sweet. Here’s hoping Ventura’s start on Thursday is a successful one!

Jun 02

Surprise military homecoming = dusty in here (no matter where “here” is)

This happened tonight at Werner Park. I knew it was coming, and it still made me all weepy. But you can see for yourself; the people in the crowd felt the same way.

The sweet kids thought they were just playing the 'Word Match' game, AND THEN...

The kids thought they were just doing the "word match" game with Chasers players up on the video board


She was THIS excited just to see his face on video...

Then, instead of a player on the board, it was their dad, allegedly on video from Afghanistan


Son hugging his dad for the first time in a while

But surprise! The dad was actually in Werner Park, waiting to surprise his kids



Family hug!

See tonight’s full set – including the Human Cannonball! – HERE.

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