Fun with anagrams and the Royals roster

Brett Hayes is an anagram for "Hey, Batters!"

Years ago, someone at Royals Review put together a hilarious list* of anagrams of the Royals’ 40-man roster, yielding such classics as “Lo, Danger Ox!” and “Crime Horse.”. (Alex Gordon and Eric Hosmer, respectively.) The roster is so different now, so it’s time for some updated anagrams from Wordsmith.org.

*which I can’t seem to find tonight. Help?

Noel Arguelles = Allele Surgeon. He’s really into genetic tinkering.

Bruce Chen = Bee Crunch. I can’t even make a joke. BEE. CRUNCH.

Maikel Cleto = Lace Mole Kit. I saw one of those at Hobby Lobby last week.

Louis Coleman = Email Uncool. Seriously, we only Kik and Snapchat now. Jeez.

Aaron Crow = Racoon War. Sounds scary.

Wade Davis = Awed Divas. Not sure how his wife feels about those.

Chris Dwyer = Screw Dry Hi. Yeah, screw it. Whatever it is.

Jeremy Guthrie = Jeer Hermit Guy. Ha ha, lookit hermit guy up there in his cabin!

Kelvin Herrera = Ankle Her River. That sounds dirty.

Luke Hochevar = Ache Over Hulk. That one song makes us all feel that way.

Greg Holland = All Herd Gong. It was loud and also a homophone.

Donnie Joseph = Joined Hen Ops. It’s a combat video game played in chicken coops. Wanna join too?

Justin Marks = Risks Nut Jams. …by not wearing a cup?

Luis Mendoza = No Mud Lazies

Felipe Paulino = Painful Pee Oil

Ervin Santana = Sent A Nirvana, and on the opposite end of the evilness spectrum, Satan Rave Inn

James Shields = She Slides Jam

Everett Teaford = Feet Rot, Averted. Must have used Tough Actin’ Tinactin.

Brett Hayes = Hey, Batters!

George Kottaras = Reggae Ark Toots

Adam Moore = Mama Rodeo

Salvador Perez = Dare Zaps Lover

Alcides Escobar = Accessible Road

Irving Falu = Rival Fungi. These two mushrooms HATE each other.

Johnny Giavotella = Vaginal Honey Jolt

Eric Hosmer = there’s no way to top Crime Horse. Letting a classic stand here.

Elliot Johnson = Hones Loin Jolt

Mike Moustakas = Oak Ska Tummies

Edinson Rincon = Condor Ninnies

Miguel Tejada = Idea: Metal Jug. It’s gonna make a million dollars!

Lorenzo Cain = Zanier Colon. Someone get this man some Pepto!

Alex Gordon = again, not gonna top the classic “Lo, Danger Ox!” Fans of Settlers of Catan might like “Ex Long Road,” but if you play against me, my road will be longer, because I like to win Longest Road.

David Lough = Valid Dough. What he’s making now that he’s been in the Majors a while.

Justin Maxwell = Nix Jaw Mullets.

Billy Butler = Liberty Bull

NO (good) ANAGRAMS FOUND FOR: Danny Duffy, John Lamb, Will Smith, Chris Getz, Jarrod Dyson, Tim Collins

__________________________________________________________________________________

Please consider supporting my writing and photography by doing your Amazon shopping through my affiliate link. (Explanation here.)

Related posts:

1. Taking a stab at the O-Royals roster
2. The latest roster changes: In Pictures
3. Fun Yankees Lineup game: Sunday studs vs. Monday scrubs