I have discovered a sure-fire way to render somebody’s brain completely ineffective, and it is completely legal. I also strongly advise against it in every way.
I speak of reheated egg rolls. This is not a knock on my roommate at all. We have a microwave for the purpose of enjoying leftovers at a later date; that’s the point. I get that. But I was not prepared for the horrors of her reheated egg rolls last night. If you’re unfortunate enough to have experienced this, you know that it is not just a smell; you can feel reheated egg rolls, you can almost see the stench, but you definitely cannot escape it. I’ve opened the windows and doors to try to air the room out, even though it’s currently 20 degrees out. I’ve gone through most of a can of Febreze Air Effects, which usually does the trick.
But I can still smell it, 24 hours after the fact. What the hell, egg rolls? Why must you be such a terror? I hate you, reheated egg rolls!
Here’s the thing; I have been completely unable to focus on anything all day. Even the Royals signing a pitcher I’ve been wanting didn’t elicit more of an eloquent thought than, “Cool.” For goodness’ sake, I’ve barely been able to focus on an episode of Law & Order today. I want to get through all 10 or so episodes that are waiting for me on my DVR, but every time I start to get into Jack McCoy’s badassery, the smell punches me in the nostrils, and I have to hit “pause” until I can see straight again through the nauseating essence.
So there you have it. A post about a blank mind and rancid cabbage and pork. …yep.
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2 comments
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November 29, 2007 at 2:29 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
If you made microwave popcorn, would it overpower the used egg roll smell?
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November 29, 2007 at 3:48 pm (UTC 0) Link to this comment
That is a good idea. If you fax me some popcorn, I’ll try it!